Identity is Key

            I spent last week with a very weird group of people in the first of four Institute of Spiritual Formation week long retreat/conferences.  When I say weird I only mean that it was an interesting gathering of people.  Among them from Scotland a production engineer, and a Pastor; from Britain an author, an few Salvation Army folks, a couple of medical professionals, a pastor, and a housewife; from Germany a computer systems analyst; from the US a retired Seminary President, an attorney, a Nurse Practitioner, a couple pastors, a few church leaders, a certified sex therapist.  The speaker for the week was a South African Pastor.

            I learned a ton, from Trevor Hudson, the speaker, from the reading that I’ve been doing, and from the cohort of 40 individuals walking this journey. I was reminded of a truth that is so significant I thought I would toss it out to you from my experience.  “Ministry always follows Identity.”  This was an awesome reminder for more than just ministry, but for life.  Where do you find your identity? 

            Let me apply this to myself for the sake of unpacking it for a moment.   Is my identity wrapped up in being “a pastor?”  If that’s true then I grind away at ministry in order to maintain my identity so that I can be called pastor.  The danger here is that I live in tension for the simple reason that if at some point I lose my role as “pastor” I also lose my “identity.” Losing one’s identity is kind of a big deal for life.  I have actually thought about this much over the years and I think I’m settled on this particular one.  Maybe there are other places that I’m finding my identity, so I’m working that out.  But what about you?  How do you identify yourself?  The problem in identifying ourselves by what we DO or by what we HAVE is that those things can be taken away and then we’re in an identity crisis.  Our role in business or at home, our wealth, or our social status… they are all too some degree or another shifting sand.  In order to live and move with confidence and joy we must know that our identity is wrapped up in something unchangeable.  Any ideas?

The Divine Life in the Interruptions

Reflecting on the past few weeks of my life and thinking this morning about the interference's and complications of life with my “study and reflection” time. 

Quick timeline:

4^th Week Past:  Spent the week walking with a wife and family through the death of a husband, son, son-in-law, brother, grandson, etc.  Culminating in a funeral service two weeks ago.

3^rd Week Past:  Week of vacation on the Washington Coast.

2^nd Week Past: Spending with a family member who is recovering from surgery due to breast cancer.  (Prognosis is VERY good)

Current Week:  Hanging with my dad at the hospital after his total knee replacement a couple days ago.

I find myself at times, whether intentionally or unintentionally (usually) separating my pursuit of the “divine” life and following Christ with my “real” life which is honestly filled with interruptions.  The interruptions can be tragedy or comedy; mourning or celebration.  I was very distracted the week after the death; trying to walk with a family, trying to find answers when all the answers seem trite and unhelpful. 

The third week past I thought it was going to be myself, my wife, and our youngest son at the beach… lots of time to read and reflect.  We usually have her birthday at the beach.  This year it was going to be a bit empty as our oldest son lives in  Phoenix and said he couldn't make it, and our middle son is about to go off to college and couldn't make it because  he’s working as much as possible to pay for school.  Our oldest drove into the driveway at the beach on Tuesday of the week surprising us.  Our middle son showed up on Friday (my wife’s birthday) to spend the weekend with us, surprising us.  It was maybe the best week ever at the beach… but our oldest son is VERY busy… and all three of the wildboyz have kept us on the run for now 22 years.  But my study of the “divine” life was somewhat hindered by “real” life as I sometimes think about it.

Second week past… just trying to present with my sister.  She’s doing well but the moments when fear sinks in or reality creeps up a little too close are tense for her.  I’m just trying to cook, do dishes… that sort of thing, and talk.  Trying to be attentive, but not smothering.  Yesterday we got the craving for a blackberry cobbler because we noticed a few wild blackberries outside the window.  So we made one and ate it with Vanilla Ice Cream.  Not trying to brag… but it was pretty darn good.

This week I’m just at the hospital with my dad, because it’s hard to just leave someone at the hospital these days without an advocate… or at least so it seems to me. 

In the midst of all this I’m getting some things done, and starting to find a rhythm with some class work I think.  But a few things have occurred to me in the midst of all this.  First, in the project of following Jesus, it must be the case that the divine life and real life are the same life.  They cannot truly be separated as “secular” and “sacred” perhaps cannot be separated.  Everything is sacred… is that true?  It seems true to me.  Is baking a cobbler as sacred as preparing a sermon?  I think it may be… maybe even more sacred!  I’m sure more people would rather eat my blackberry cobbler than listen to my sermons. 

Second I just watched JP Moreland’s tribute to Dallas Willard at Willard’s memorial service in which he said in tribute to Dallas Willard, “I asked Dallas one time what his life aim was?  He said, ‘Just to be a light at USC.’”  It seems to me that one of the significantly transformative things we can do is to intentionally be a light wherever we are… at this moment.  In tragedy, on the go-carts at the beach, in caring in tense situations, at work, at the grocery, at the gas pumps, or wherever. I know that shining the light is a passive thing… that is to say, as we are shaped in the image of Christ the light of Christ WILL shine even without our willing it intentionally.  But it’s also intentional.  I just finished “Knowing Christ Today: Why we can Trust Spiritual Knowledge” by Dallas Willard in which he describes Frank Laubach’s finding God’s presence in all the moments of the day (p.149), “With much effort and practice he trained himself to bring God, and what is of God, back before his mind every minute or so, and from this he constantly drank in power to guide and strengthen himself.”  I’m going to try and work on this… my mind is a wandering thing.

Third, and I can’t remember which interview this comes from, but John Ortberg is asking Dallas Willard how to begin the project of following Jesus.  The answer, “Just do the next right thing you know to do.”  I thought that was profound.  It doesn’t sound very religious… which I also liked.  Perhaps this coincides with “The sacrament of the present moment as it is sometimes called, is from the human side nothing but the invocation, expectation, and receptivity of God’s presence and activity where we are ad in what we are doing at any given time.” (KCT p.153)

All this to say that the pursuit of Jesus’ divine life in the interruptions of real life is the only option, because life is filled with interruptions.

Teaching (using this term very loosely) a group of preschoolers yesterday afternoon on the finer points of existential philosopher theologian Soren Kierkegaard's parable, "The King and the Maiden," along with drawing out the nuance of the Greek verb for "follow" when one of the cherubs raised her hand, and when I called on her said, "I know a boy named Hotdog!" and then another quickly intoned, "I want the monkey story!" I do not think there is a boy named "Hotdog" and I'm not sure to which monkey story the reference goes! I learned, yet again, that one (me) should stick to their gifting. :) But it was fun!

As I was leaving the church to go see Star Trek with the wildboyz six of the little guys came up and gave me a group hug and said, "Thanks for PLAYING with us!" Ok... but WHAT ABOUT THE KING AND THE MAIDEN! :)

Yet again, another lesson... In the end perhaps it's not the lessons we teach t hat matter nearly as much as our presence in the lesson.

The value and dignity of the human person.

Do you ever struggle with self-image, identity, and a sense of dignity about who you are as a person?  We live in a culture in which we are always “sizing each other up.”  Here’s another quote for you from The Pastor as Minor Poet.

            Pastor’s never trust the self-image of anyone.  That’s because most people construct their identities from an assortment of borrowed images.  The typical American today strives to be as attractive as the models on the fashion magazine covers, as successful in work as Bill Gates, as sensitive a spouse and parent as Ward and June Cleaver, and as death-defyingly healthy as Lance Armstrong – all while maintaining the inner peace of the Dalai Lama.  The fact that these images are often in conflict with each other creates tension within the heart of the individual, who tries desperately to meet all of their demands. 

            Typically the pastor is the only influence holding to the belief that life is a holy creation that can be rightly known only in light of the image of God.  As the old confession of faith states, “our chief end is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.”  We were marked by God, for God, and the holiness of this image goes to the heart of our identity and mission in life.

Do you think of yourself often as a unique person, created by God, marked by God, made for God, and that you have value for who He has made you to be, without regard to how you “size up” to others?  In listening to a lecture by Dallas Willard today I was struck by his definition of the word “dignity”.  He defines it as “worth that has no substitute.”  He goes on to say that most things have been given a value.  If I want a cheese burger and you have one that you are willing to trade me for $3.00 then we know the value of the cheese burger.  The reason that slavery is so heinous is that it places a monetary value on human persons.  However, the human person is beyond any monetary value.  There is nothing for which we can trade the human person that does not ultimately devalue, and remove the dignity, of the human person.  We often sell our very selves for something of much less value than our self!  Slavery is selling yourself for something of less value than yourself.  We lose our dignity when we become slaves.  When you sell yourself for the image of what you think others want you to be you lose the dignity of knowing who you are truly created to be… you lose yourself and, ultimately, gain nothing real in return.